You're never lost: 3 simple questions to re-connect to the TRUE you.
It’s crazy how you can charge full speed through life, going through all the motions of going to work, picking up the dry cleaning, wiping noses, and buying insurance and then one day sit down with a hummpppf and not even recognize the woman who’s staring back at you in your car’s rearview mirror.
If you’re not careful, life has a way of erasing bits and pieces of you until you feel lost and disconnected from the little girl who ran barefoot through the streets with her pigtails flying behind her and a cape made from a sheet fluttering from her shoulders.
I know that lost feeling well. The desire to make an escape plan from what wears me down day after day, because I’ve been living my life for others and not paying attention to that little girl who at first whispers “what about me?”
What’s scarier? To continue ignoring the whispers or to actually listen and do something about it?
Because looking beneath the surface is a bit like peeking under the bed. You could find a long lost treasure or the boogie monster, but by not looking you could just snuggle up for a long nap under soft blankets and ignore what’s going under underneath the surface.
I know, I know. Right now, you’re either shouting ‘take a nap’ or ‘look under the damn bed’.
I choose to look under the bed, to see what the whispering was about.
Before I set off on my quest to find the me that was whispering so urgently, I created a treasure map. I knew what I’d find under my metaphoric bed would be a bit scary, I also knew I was going to find riches beyond my wildest dreams.
How did I know there was a treasure?
Because what could be more priceless than knowing and loving yourself? That one was a no-brainer.
Why was is a bit scary?
Because holy crap- I’d lost touch with who I am. What makes me tick, what do I value, what makes me light up and want to dance in the rain? Plus, what if I discover things, I don’t like about myself? I could be a miss bossy pants, extremely lazy, have little tolerance for people who make mountains out of molehills. Who knew what lurks in the dark corners? (BTW- all these bits about me are true)
Does the reward out way the risk? Hell yeah!
Why?
Because every part is valuable. The sparkly bits that you freely show the world and the bits you’d prefer would remain unseen, hidden behind a mask. Every piece of you, makes up you. All pieces are equally important and understanding them gives you strength and more confidence to fall in love with yourself more deeply.
Ready to look under your own bed and go on a quest to discover your authenticity?
I used these three questions to help excavate beneath the surface. The answers have ultimately led to major shifts and transformations in my life: leaving an indifferent relationship long past it’s due date, embracing a new career after age 50, and creating strong, loving relationships with my daughters.
Ready? I’m not going to sell you rainbows and unicorns. On the surface these questions may look simple, but when was the last time you asked and really answered them- truthfully?
1. How are you?
No sugar coating your answer, no smart aleck response. Ask the question and just sit with the answer. Check in with your body, your mind, and your soul. And the by the way, you’re not allowed to use the words fine or good or okay. Take the time to really listen to the response that comes from the place deep inside you, the loving voice within.
2. Who are you?
I’m not talking about the roles you play- mother, daughter, partner, friend, etc. Those are important, but really who are you? This can be hard, but there are hints everywhere. What makes you smile or laugh out loud? What were you for Halloween when you were little? What books and movies are you attracted to? How did you spend your summer vacation when you were in grammar school? What do you collect? What would you fight to keep in your life? What makes you so angry you could spit?
3. Please, tell me more.
The two questions above are just the tippy top of what’s above the surface. Ask your soul to tell you more. Bring a journal and ask the question, then wait and when you feel moved, write whatever flows from your pen. Don’t question what emerges on the paper. This is your authentic self, sharing riches- this is the treasure, there for your taking. And hot damn- it’s bottomless.
Living an authentic life, tuned into who you are, keeps you grounded and protects against ever being lost again. Knowing yourself is the foundation for building soulful relationships, experiencing a rewarding career, and discovering how the Universe has your back every day. You can release worry, set healthy boundaries, and flow through life with ease. All because you know and accept who you are.
Like I said earlier- priceless.
Time for your journey. You have the map, so go grab your tools (pen and paper) and don’t forget your snacks (every quest needs fuel!).
P.S. I wanted to be an astronaut, interior designer, and gypsy as a child. I’m still in awe of the heavens, the mystical, the moon cycles, and astrology. I filled hundreds of color books and love to create through color and texture, and this shows up in my home, my garden, and my art. I’m a free spirit, love boho clothing, wear crystal bangles on my wrist (the more- the better), and I’ve never liked to work a 9 to 5 job (and haven’t in over 20 years).