Strong Women Cry
I’m a blubber baby.
I admit it, I cry easily. It doesn’t take much to set me off: a kind word, those gut wrenching ASPCA commercials, the joy on my daughter’s face when she nails a dance routine, an unexpected card in the mail. I cry in front of family, friends and even strangers – every moment’s an opportunity for my eyes to leak.
For years I was embarrassed by what I assumed was a weakness.
Isn’t that what we’re taught from early on? Don’t cry, people will think your softhearted, weak, a push over, a pansy- the list of negative words is endless. The truth is that any outward sign of emotion makes some people really uncomfortable and crying is linked to sadness, anxiety, or depression.
Crying for me is not a one dimensional response.
Sure, I cry when I’m sad or angry, but the majority of the time it’s a release of a stronger, more positive emotion such as joy or gratitude. When I have trouble expressing what’s happening on the inside, tears leak out and, in that moment, my super powers erupt: compassion, kindness, connection.
Tears show my vulnerability, but they also define my humanity. My authenticity and willingness to be seen allows others to show their own true selves. My tears connect me to others in a way that words simply can’t, there’s an energetic shift occurring in the moment when we witness raw, uninhibited emotion.
My daughters use my tears as a way to ascertain how deeply I’ve connected. After certain dance routines, they’ll ask “Mom-did we make you cry?” They believe that if the answer is yes, then they have touched something deep within me. They’ve generated a soul response and isn’t that want each of wants from our relationships?
It cheers me to think that I’ve show my girls that strong women can cry.
That it’s acceptable to show the world how you feel and not tamp down your emotions. Release is healthy and holding onto any strong emotion can lead to both mental and physical health issues. I know this from experience. For years, I didn’t express myself and I ground my teeth so badly, the dentist had to file my canines flat again. If it’s deciding between vampire teeth or a few tears…there’s no choice.
As I reflect on my career as a champion crier, I realize that I’m no longer ashamed of that part of me.
In fact, it’s just the opposite- I relish my tears. When I feel those tiny pinpricks at the corner of my eyes, I cherish the moment, because I’m being moved. It’s a signal that I’m alive and present. I’m unapologetic and refuse to make myself feel badly because I actually feel!
There’s tremendous strength is being open and authentic. Each of us have many strengths and I believe that what we perceive as our weakness, may be our superpower in disguise.
P.S. Let's unite all our superpowers and show the world what strong women really look like. If you have a friend who's learning to embrace her authenticity- please share this blog with her!