Being stuck is not a permanent condition- 4 powerful steps to free yourself

It’s not a permanent condition.

It happens to everyone at one point or another.

There’s no reason to be embarrassed and try to sweep it under the rug.

In the journey of every woman, there comes a time when she feels stuck.  It’s inertia couple with fear.  A sense that you’ll be stuck in place, experiencing the same feelings over and over again, and you can’t see an escape route.  You’re immobilized, a bit panicky, and just want it all to go away.

But you don’t know where to begin.

I’ve been reading The Gift by Edith Eger, who is an incredible woman who survived Auschwitz, and has help many others heal trauma in their lives.  It’s an amazing read, but I’ve been so absorbed in writing down key messages that I’m only in chapter 2! 

Ms. Eger identifies 4 steps to getting yourself unstuck.  Notice I said yourself, it’s not someone else’s job.  There’s no rescue wagon coming around the corner, this is something you must do to heal what has kept you stuck and gain momentum towards living your life to the fullest. 

Plus. there’s no short cuts.

I’m a short cut kind of gal, so I get it.  You want to start, skip the middle messy stages, and arrive at your destination with a big smile and a ’atta girl.’  It’s the ultimate cheat sheet, but the only one that’s being cheated is you.  I know that sounds a bit cliché but there are reasons a cliché is true.

Here are my interpretations of Ms. Eger’s four steps to getting yourself unstuck.

First, don’t change how you feel.  Be present with your emotions.  As uncomfortable as it may be, if you don’t let the big, the bad, and the ugly surface, they’ll eat you up from the inside.  This is terrifying stuff, to sit with your feelings and just allow them to be, no changing them, no saying “oh, I should really feel this instead.” 

Feel the pain, the guilt, the anger, the jealousy. 

Your feelings aren’t your identity.  They aren’t who you are at your core.  Feeling angry doesn’t make you an angry person, but a person who is just angry, for a while.  But if you hang onto the anger, it will become a part of you, it will fester and it will keep you stuck in place.

Sit with your feelings, let them erupt from you with no judgement.  By doing this, the feeling, and the energy behind it, is released and you’ll feel relief fast.

Second, don’t shield others from what is up with you.  We’ve been taught to put on a happy face and pretend that everything’s good with us- all the time.  I find that exhausting, what about you?  We do this to protect others because we don’t want them to worry about us. 

But if someone you cared about was hurting, you’d want to know right?

Own what you’re feeling, be honest with others about what’s up with you. You’re not protecting your partner or friend, but instead shutting them out, which hurts both of you in the long run.  When your struggling, don’t internalize it, but allow those you trust to step up and support you.

Third, stop giving power to what’s making you feel stuck.  The more energy and attention you give to whatever is making you feel stuck, the more it grows, until it fills your waking and nightly thoughts.  It becomes your personal albatross, hanging on you and weighing your down.

Shrink it, by taking back your power.

Inch by inch, step by step. It starts with changing how you think about your situation.

 I love this quote from Ms. Eger,” Thoughts aren’t feelings, confusing the two can get you stuck.”

You can choose to look for the lessons within the situation, you can choose to be grateful for the good that’s happening in your life, you can choose to shift your thought from the negative to the positive. 

This is how you regain your power.

Fourth, don’t avoid the good feelings.  Just because you were derailed for a moment, don’t let the intensity of the frustration, anger, fear, or other lower vibration feeling keep you from feeling joy, hope, or love.   

Keep yourself open to receiving the higher vibe feelings.

Give yourself permission to receive.  Allow life to present you with opportunities to connect with people and situations that fuel your energy in a positive way.  Find ways each day to embrace joy, even if it’s just taking a moment to enjoy the hot stream of water in your shower or a friend’s offer to join her for a cup of coffee.  Be present with your joy, feel it, welcome it, and shout out to the Universe, “Hey, I want more of this.”

Being stuck doesn’t need to be a permanent condition.  Yes, it is frightening to feel caught and not know what direction is next.  However, the cure is available to you, it’s a choice you make, it’s the answer to this question:

“Do I want to stay stuck or do I want to embrace my life and live?”

Use these four steps as the path for you to follow to a fuller life.